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KeithSpeak- November 2014


November 1, 2014
I was hoping for a little fortune cookie good news. Oddly, the fortune said that the next fortune cookie will hold double the fortune. If it's good, you will prosper twice; if it's bad, it will be doubly bad. I grabbed another one. It said your next fortune cookie will hold double the fortune. What?! Is my future just a pawn in their fortune cookie game?! Is some fortune cookie marketing manager smirking because they all have the same fortune and "that poor sap will open every cookie waiting for the one that will double his fortune but it will never come and he will have to buy even more fortune cookies! We'll be rich!" Yeah, well, bastards.
November 3, 2014
This is the big city.
Some say the big city is the pinnacle of civilization.
Others say that concentrated humanity is a blight.
This is how glad I am that I don't live in the big city (my hands are about three feet apart).
November 4, 2014
She couldn't hold it in any longer and an argument ensued in public. It wasn't the time or the place but is it ever really the time or the place when emotions bubble over and flow like searing lava down the mountainside of one's dreams? She hurled her accusations at him and was hurt by everything she recounted; he was either truly dumbfounded or lying. When it was over, she was crying in a heap on the mall floor and he was looking around for a hole to crawl into. Everybody else, who had stopped what they were doing to watch, moved on. All in all, it was pretty grim.
November 5, 2014
Even though it was taken many years ago, I still love this picture of Tucker, Sophie and Maddie. For no reason in particular, I thought today would be a swell day to repost it.
November 6, 2014
Overheard two women at the movies.
-- Gina, you have to do what you think is best for you.
-- What's best is to throw him out.
-- Then do it.
-- I can't. He has nowhere to go.
-- So?
-- It'll kill him. You don't know him like I do.
-- Gina, he's been using you since the day you met him. Get rid of the freeloader.
-- No, he needs me.
-- You're hopeless.
-- I am.
-- Let's talk about something else.
-- Ok. So what movie are we seeing?
-- Beats me. You're the one who wanted to go to the movies.
-- I just wanted to get away from the bastard... What do you think I should do?
-- Gina, you have to do what you think is best for you.
November 7, 2014
Talk about slow... I was at a friend's house and she had a chalkboard on her kitchen wall in which she would write down her grocery list. I was mini ranting on the fact that she would now have to copy it all down onto a piece of paper so she could take the list with her to the grocery store, so what was the point of the chalkboard in the first place if she just had to do it twice, when what she obviously needed was just a simple scratchpad, you know, write it down once, oh sorry, then there'd no longer be a need for that trendy kitchen blackboard, a favorite tchotchke of today's hippest kitchen designers... She looked at me tenderly, like I was a slow child. Then she took out her smartphone, took a picture of the chalkboard grocery list, put the phone back in her pocket and smiled benignly at me. Jeez.
November 8, 2014
If you are asked your worth, which comes to mind first: your bank account, your home and property, your education, your personal accomplishments, your personal development, your family, your service to mankind... How are you defining worth to yourself? What's the first thing you think of?
November 9, 2014
I had to call customer support for an electronic item I'd just bought. The rep asked for the serial number which I provided. He then proceeded to identify me as someone else. I told him that wasn't me. He said that serial number and product were registered to this other person. There was a second string of numbers below the serial number that he then asked for. I read them off and heard him say, "What the hell." The second numbers were supposed to identify which plant the product had been produced in and reaffirm the country of origin. It did neither. He called his supervisor. The supervisor was also stumped. They put me on hold. The rep returns many minutes later, takes my particulars and says he'll have to call me back. Three days later, he does. All giddy to break the story he informs me that thousands of items were given the same serial number at one of their factories that "had a rogue employee!" Great, wonderful. At this point I was long past the intrigue and just wanted support for the item I'd acquired days ago. But the rep was taken aback. When he accused me of being "snippy", I hung up, boxed up the defective item and returned it. Sigh.
November 10, 2014
Winter is coming, brrrr. You can't see the oil in the ground or the natural gas that flows with it, nor can you touch the propane or the electricity that might be the source of your home's heat this winter. But if you heat with wood, you can see your toasty future right there in front of your eyes. To those who heat with wood, this is a picture of merit and value, comfort and joy.
November 11, 2014
If you could have a glimpse behind the veil, a quick view of your afterlife, would you, for just that moment, pierce the void? After all, you could find out that you do go on and everyone you ever knew and loved is there in one form or another, or you could be met with something else entirely. Do you take that peek?
November 12, 2014
A woman and her little dog, walking up our road, were about to pass a man walking his large dog in the opposite direction. As the foursome drew parallel, the little dog abruptly turned left and attacked the big dog. It pulled the leash out of the woman's hand, leapt across the road and furiously, repeatedly, bit the leg of the big dog. It was astonishing. What would cause that little dog to lose its mind like that?
November 13, 2014
The concept of reincarnation involves the idea of progression or development of self. Therefore, we are all at varying levels of competency. AMA motorcycle racing classes could well apply to the stages of one's life level within the human race. There are five classes - Beginner, Novice, Intermediate, Expert, Pro. If you had to declare your personal development, right now, as you are, what class would you put yourself in?
November 14, 2014
Y'all, I have to go out of the country. Could be gone as long as 3 weeks. I will post here sporadically and attempt to keep up with mail and book orders, but I will have intermittent use of the Interwebs, so there might well be delays. What? Of course, I'll miss you! That's so sweet. Ok, I'm off. Ta ta, my pretties.
November 21, 2014
I am still away. I am still travelling. Things are going as well as could be expected. I will return here on Tuesday of next week. Can you wait until then? Will we be able to pick up where we left off? I sure hope so. I do. Buh bye.
November 25, 2014
I saw two cats walking down the sidewalk like they owned it. They were shoulder to shoulder and step for step, completely oblivious to anything but their forward march. As I neared them from the opposite direction, I bent down to pet one or the other but they both parted ways at my hand - one went left, the other right - and they rejoined each other behind me as if I hadn't been there at all. They were kitties on a mission, and it was nothing but cute.
November 26, 2014
The dude's custom motorcycle was designed to shoot flames out of the exhaust pipes. Though probably illegal, it wasn't a problem until he revved his bike at a stop light on a windy day and the flames scorched the side of a canary yellow Ferrari in the lane next to him. The car's owner leapt out of his vehicle and pushed the motorcyclist and his flame throwing bike over. Several miles later, parked on the side of the road were both the paint seared Ferrari and the scratched up custom motorcycle. Neither occupant was anywhere to be seen. Hmm.
November 27, 2014
November 28, 2014
It's the end of November, it's currently snowing and our roof is leaking. Though this could be a premise for a terrible Hollywood comedy, it's real life and it's kinda disturbing; by next Spring, when the melting begins, disturbing will turn to disastrous. Reroofing one's house in Winter is hardly advised but leaking water isn't one of those I'll-get-to-it-later things. So, big assed jacket, non slip boots, safety harness, 49 squares of shingles, nail gun, snow shovel, fortitude a plenty. Ah, the joys of home ownership gone bad. Yikes.
November 29, 2014
I've lived a wonderful life. It's had a little of everything. 'Course, you too have had quite a life. Everyone does. Not one person lives the life of any other person. We are all each and every one unique. We have our loves and hates, successes and failures, joys and heartbreaks and a million more experiences and emotions that eventually lead each and every one of us to a whole life lived. Yeesh, it's pretty amazing, really.
November 30, 2014
Saw a homeless man sitting against his grocery cart surrounded by a semi-circle of pictures. He looked lovingly down at them. As I passed by, he beckoned me over and started introducing me to his family. Sadly, all the pics were the flimsy black and white stock photos that come inside a new wallet or picture frame; young, beautiful people innocent of the broken man they surrounded.

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KeithSpeak                                      December 2014


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