As the title implies, this page changes weekly with a fresh set of questions and answers.
Ok, in response to overwhelming demand, instead of starting afresh weekly, we will just append the Q&As. So send in your questions, they will now be posted for time immortelle, bandwidth notwithstanding.
How big is your little town?
About 16,000. Our metropolis has a bowling alley (5 pin), a twin sheet ice arena, 5 movie screens, two malls, an industrial park, a great golf course, an airport, a wharf, a Dairy Queen, a farmers' market, and a quaint train station for a train that no longer stops here.
My old girlfriend Steffi is back in town and acting like she wants to get back together. It was really hard breaking up with her (when she decided that I wasn't dude enough and she took up with that frosted blond wiener headed Eurotrash punk snowboarder, Graham). To be honest, I don't think I got any cooler in the months since she was gone and now that she's back I'm not sure I'm ready to try again because I think she will dump me when the next dye job comes along. What do you think?
All right, let's see, yes, here's what you do. Tell Steffi bye bye.
What kind of car does Keith Ryan drive?
A mighty Toyota LandCruiser. Far and away the best vehicle we have ever owned. A great soul in metal.
How big is Keith Ryan?
I'm 6'0, 190 pounds.
I want to do something daring. Do you have any advice for someone like me?
I do. This is applicable to anybody doing anything, so listen up: There is nobody else living your life. Do what you want to do. Learn from doing it. And make the experiences as pleasant and open and enlightening as you possibly can. Live a self-aware, personable life, be nice and generous to others, give love to receive love, be responsible for yourself, and cognizant of the process. You are the only one who knows your wishes, dreams and desires. Fulfill them. What else is there?
Is it true that you live in a town named for fish parts?
Do you have any idea how long it takes to drive from Seattle, Washington to Vancouver, British Columbia? We might come to Canada, see.
I have no idea.
Actually, I know the answer but I'm not going to say in the hopes of discouraging these types of questions: those best answered by PEOPLE WITH MAPS! I have no maps. Not here. Not on me.
All right, I don't want to come off like some hooligan toward the maply challenged, so I will tell you, but just this once. Point north, it's a 3 hour drive give or take the amount of time it takes to cross the border, which, if you get caught with something illicit, could be years. So, let's see, my answer is three hours to three years.
Are you ever going to publish other authors?
Not at present. The mandate under which I started this company was to write, publish, and control all creative aspects of my work. I have no desire to do that with anybody else's work.
What do you think is the best movie of all time?
Casablanca. Ingrid Bergman, um. And man, how tight was that script. Oh yes, it's Casablanca for me.
What currencies do you accept?
Our wares are offered in U.S. dollars.
I'm so frustrated. Will I ever have peace in my lifetime?
Peace is inside you, my friend. If you are truly looking for it, there you will find it. The outside world is a reflection of your inner thoughts. If you are not at peace, I suggest you consider the source. I suggest you self-examine. Find out WHAT it is that you believe; WHY it is that you believe that; And if it isn't what you want, ask yourself WHY you would continue believing it? If you change your beliefs, you will change your life. But first you have to know what is true for you.
Who does Keith Ryan root for in sports?
For moi, the Olympics are by far the greatest spectacle on Earth. My pulse quickens every two years. I loudly cheer and wildly applaud the participants, the emotions, the incredible stories, the public display of human spirit - all of it thrills me to my core.
For North American pro sports, it's these teams for me:
Hockey - Vancouver Canucks
Baseball - Toronto Blue Jays
Football - Green Bay Packers (this is my wife's hometown team; only a fool would go again' them in this house).
For the first time ever, I have to wear decent clothes for a new job. Should the belt match the shoes?
Always. And the tip of the tie should come right down to the belt, not below it, not above it.
Do you offer a guarantee that FOUND MONEY - How To Consciously Win The Lottery works?
You would only ask that question if you've not read the book. Winning the lottery - or anything thing else in YOUR life - is up to you. As a writer and publisher, I offer ideas, sound tools, and encouragement. If you want a guarantee that you are going to win the lottery, then I suggest you ask yourself if that's true. Your answer will tell you everything you need to know.
What sets you apart from your self-help competitors?
Competitors? To improve the quality of one's life? To expand one's consciousness? No such thing. Nuh-uh, the more information the better. Look, generally speaking, self-help material is more or less the same, it's just presented in varying forms. We're all saying: You are living a life of thought and experience. Wake up!
What one word could be used to best describe you?
I just read your novel, Write About Dogs. This is a wild wild book. Just what kind of person are you?
I am someone who is trying, like all the rest of you, to make my life wider and deeper. It took me 15 years to write Write About Dogs. It IS a wild wild book.
Can I find your books in a real world bookstore?
You might. It depends on what city you're in. We are in a selected number of brick and mortar stores, but the bulk of our books are bought online.
Does 2 + 2 always equal 4?
I don't know.
I know that it usually does,
but I can't say it always does.
Can I ask you a question?
You aren't the same guy who two weeks ago asked me if 8 x 7 was 56, are you?
That's it. No more math questions. And it's because of you, my simple friend, that everybody is now forever deprived of posing - probably much more important - arithmetical queries. I was here to solve.
Are you ever gonna write about something cool like aliens or something?
Sure, that's a great idea.
I've noticed you use big words. What is your education?
I have a BSc. from Ohio State University, and a MSc. from Wright State University, both in biology.
But my true education has come from my experiences in the real world.
What are you listening to right now?
Neil Young is in my D:drive.
The songbirds at the feeder outside my window.
A backhoe working on the property below us.
Cows across the road.
A float plane taking off from the lake.
My inner self, telling me to get on with it.
If I may, what are Keith Ryan's personal or professional goals?
Personally and professionally they are the same. If I may quote from my novel, Write About Dogs:
Ray was a symbol for an alternative Science, where the body is not seen as separate from the mind, but a result of the mind. A new kind of Scientific spiritualism.
"I cannot imagine how our world can freely progress when the most natural activities of man and beast are funneled into a small time logic centered around a 'notion' that objectivity is the best approach to exploring Science.
"No matter how objective man gets, he will never escape the fact that he is a part of the natural world and all that comprises it. He is a part - but so is everybody and everything else that we recognize as being an element of our world. And that is purely subjective. So why don't we embrace the obvious and discard this pretense?"
"Where did you learn this?" interjected a Board member.
"Yes, who taught it to you?" queried another.
"Exactly what are you saying here?" menacingly asked a third.
"Subjectivity, I propose, is the future of Science," Ray kept on. "Understanding our world with our hearts and our minds is infinitely more connective than attempting to understand it with only our brains. Intellectualizing Science - keeping it objective - allows us to neatly divide what we know to be true: that we are both mind and body, head and heart - and so is every other living thing on Earth. We are a part of this entire connected world, neither above it nor apart from it, and to study it as such is to do a disservice to our base of knowledge and understanding, let alone to our fellow inhabitants."
That's my goal. Yep. The subjectivity of science. The humanizing of science. That, my friends, is the future.
Do you have any job openings at Keith Ryan Publishing?
Not at the moment. If that changes, the answer to this question will reflect those changes.
Does your wife work with you at your company? Did you guys maybe meet at school?
She is first and foremost, my editor. But my wife, Susan, is a clinical psychologist in private practice.
We did not maybe meet at school.
How close are you to the Canadian Rockies? (Notice I did not ask you how to get there - I don't want you to flame me like you did the old fart from Seattle.)
Yeah, the map guy. Jeez. Anyway, we are a beautiful, gorgeous, easy 4 hour drive from here to Banff, Alberta.
In regards to your answer concerning tie length, my belt is about 10 inches below my armpits and I am having trouble getting my tie the proper length without a whole bunch left over. Any advice?
A bigger neck to take up the slack?
New policy announcement: Ahem, from now on, we are out of the clothes advice business. It is suggested that all sartorial questions should be referred to the gentlemen at GQ.com Please try them over there. Best wishes in finding an answer.
What does eponymous mean?
Tell us a joke.
Integrity in politics.
You keep telling everyone to think. Well I have read both of your books and I have looked at every page on your web site. You want to know what I think? I think Keith Ryan is a handsome, talented man. What do you think of that?
My my. I'm not just saying this, but you may well be my brightest reader ever! Really. I'm not just saying that either.
If you keep adding questions, won't this page grow to be like 100 feet long?
In some places. In others, it will be like 31 meters long.
But seriously, underneath your question I sense a...a frustration with scrolling? Is that it? Is scrolling the "real" issue here? Because I can fix that, pal. I can help. Watch. In the name of customer service I hereby inaugurate Page 2.