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KeithSpeak - October 2007
October 1, 2007
Chucky was proud of that racing stripe.
Though he has half a dozen incurable diseases acquired from years of hazardous material exposure, Chucky could always count on his racing stripe. “It makes me feel fast, even when I feel like I’m dying from the inside out.” Well said, Chucky, well said.

October 2, 2007
Sometimes, when I really want to help the children, I’ll go up to some of them and brag that I can have as many Pop Tarts as I want. I can even have them for dinner if I want. I could have 10 at once if I wanted. They are always shocked at the concept of an irresponsible adult. And I am pleased to have opened up a new universe for them to contemplate. As any true hero would, I ask for no thanks.

October 3, 2007
So there I am, hanging out on the porch, beer in hand, relaxing in a chair with three sleeping malamutes at my feet, gazing at 270 degrees of world class natural scenery when...nothing happens. That’s why it’s relaxing, see. Nothing happens.

October 4, 2007
I’ve been doing tractor maintenance all morning. My hands are greasy. My coveralls are greasy. I’m a dirty boy. Ten minutes ago, I’m lying under the tractor, greasing something, when I remember that I hadn’t updated the site today. Ten minutes later, my keyboard is greasy, my mouse is greasy, and I have tracked mud all over my office. I hope you’re happy.
October 5, 2007
Jeez, the main water line in Susan’s office broke last night, flooding the lower part of her office and causing great havoc. I gotta go help with the aftermath. Yuck. Yeesh. Damn.

October 6, 2007
Still dealing with the aftermath.

October 7, 2007
Still dealing.
October 8, 2007
According to Lafayette Di Spruce, the designer of NASA’s spiffy new space suit, "It's extremely gorgeous. It’s wearable art really. My muse was smiling upon me that night! You see, my dear boy, the problem with space suits is, 1.) they’re always ugly as opposed to my beautiful new design – two-toned, very slimming! has TONS of pockets! I'm one happy guy! it says, and 2.), what do you do with them after your space trip? They just hang in your closet forever! Dear boy, they’re the bridal gowns of the new millennium!
So I thought, Lafayette, why not make them the hip ‘with it’ work attire?! Isn’t that brilliant! All you do is remove the helmet, grab your briefcase and go! Don't you love it!”
We have to ask, haute couture or haute crazy?

October 10, 2007


This was fun.
I pull into a parking space at a local grocery store that faces the Canadian Pacific railroad tracks, just as slowly moving cars of the Rocky Mountaineer, the tourist train that runs from Vancouver to the Canadian Rockies, is rolling by. As each car passes, the excitement grows as passengers first notice, then start pointing and gawking at our three northern malamute husky-type dogs who were hanging their heads out of the car windows. By the time the fifth coach rolled by, I’m surprised the train hadn’t tipped over as all of the passengers were glued to the one side smiling, pointing and taking pictures. It was fun for all it was.

October 12, 2007
The last few days have been hectic as Susan is going out of town and logistics needed tending to. I think our house is in order, but you never know, disaster could be moments away, with me the last to see it. Or not.

October 13, 2007
The only way to fully experience life is to, uh, fully experience life. So you must endure the heartaches, the betrayals, the rage, the duplicity, the violence, the hunger, the pain and the fear in between experiencing the joy, tranquility, comfort, love, peace, pleasure, contentment and happiness, to know what any of it is, because all of it (and so much more) comprises the human experience. This experience, by definition, is called living a life. And yours, in the end, will be the full sum of the experiences you had during your life. Nothing more, nothing less.

October 14, 2007
So I read that Bush would declare martial law if they tried to impeach him. God, what a tool.

A week later, in some cock and bull about Iran and nukes he invokes "World War III" as the result. America, are you mesmerized, hypnotized, paralyzed with fear - what?! You must act. Today. Now. Lordy.

October 15, 2007
Going from the dangerous and criminal to the dim and clueless, look how much smaller Reagan's head is compared to Ford's. There’s that much less room for brains, eh? Should have been a tip off.
October 16, 2007
Sadly, the oldest tree in Vancouver’s Stanley Park has fallen. It was a 1,000 year old Western red cedar. It was the most famous denizen of the park and had been featured in National Geographic. To think that this magnificent icon was a seedling in the 11th century, and had witnessed and endured a thousand west coast years, is pretty awesome. It’s a sad passing of a living legend.

October 15, 2007
At Sherri’s Industrial Tchotchke Shop, they made all their own tchotchkes.
Sherri’s husband Oscar, a sickly only child, had been fearful of dating a welder - his mother had always warned him to stay away from steel workers (she'd had a bad experience with a fabricator once), but Oscar couldn’t help himself, he loved tchotchkes, and when he found a gal that could make 'em, he fell in love with the smell of acetylene and burned leather chaps, so much so that sometimes he would ask Sherri to wear the goggles to bed, but that’s really too much information, isn’t it.
Oscar and his mother, Porsche
October 18, 2007


Today we get to make a fuss, because it's Tuck’s birthday! He’s 6! Happy birthday, big boy.
Tuck at 6
October 19, 2007
I had chocolate for breakfast today. Lots of it. It was good. It mostly set me up for a task that required a dash of backbreaking energy coupled with tireless work, so for insurance, I had a pot of coffee to go with the chocolate, and boy that did the trick. Finished the task in record time. Felt great. Am I the first to ever eat chocolate, drink coffee and go out and use a chainsaw? I dunno. Probably.

October 20, 2007

Here’s a little something to think about. Last night at 3 am I woke up to a gun shot, and thought, there’s the difference between urban and rural living. There are no drive by shootings here, no muggings gone wrong, no car jackings, and though it could have been a crime of passion, more likely it was a neighbor shooing off a bear. That’s context for you. Everything means something within something else. Class dismissed.

October 22, 2007
I pay our phone bill, but weeks later the check comes back with a note stapled to it: We can’t process your check, the date isn’t clear. Reissue. I look at the date on the check and it says, 10-1-07. What’s the problem? October 1, 2007. I’m paying the October phone bill with a check dated October 1st. I fail to get excited by their nitpickiness and send them the exact same check back.

October 23, 2007
There’s snow on the mountains around here. Even though it’s not yet down to the valley floor, I’m putting the snow blade on the tractor today. You can’t be too prepared for a Canadian winter, eh? Now let me see if I have everything.
Snow removal equipment, check.
Stacked, dry cords of wood, check.
Full liquor cabinet, check.
Ok, I’m ready. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

October 24, 2007
I’m consolidating some links on the site. The Daily Horoscope is gone, and I’m going to merge The Weekly Q&A and The Monthly Shoot into a new single page, which I’m still working on, that will be titled something else, which I’m still working on. That’s as far as I’ve gotten.

October 25, 2007
Ok, changes-wise, things aren’t moving as swiftly as one might hope. Other things seem to be catching my attention. Frankly, HTML doesn’t sing the same siren song she once used to. Sigh.

October 26, 2007
If it were true that all artists needed muses, someone else to bring out their art, and I don’t have someone like that, yet I produce art, then I must be my own muse. Is that possible? Hmm, it’s true, I do fascinate me. Heck, I guess so! That’s tidy. Well, haven’t we grown today!

October 27, 2007
He said he wasn’t evil, but nobody believed him.
What was really eerie, was that he had a red twin brother.

October 29, 2007
Susan returns this very day from an extended trip. Uh-oh. That means I will no longer be living by myself with the dogs. I look around. I’ve been on my own too long. The place is in need of some serious damage control. Cancel my appointments! My day is booked. I absolutely have to clean the domicile. And do the dishes. And what is that, laundry? Jeez. Oh, and put something else besides beer in the fridge. Tell all my friends the party is over, the coast is not clear, that sort of thing. Ta.

October 30, 2007
We had some vandalism done to our driveway entrance gate. Grrrr. Punks.

October 31, 2007
When you live rurally, Halloween becomes an adult holiday of candy. As a home owner, you’re obligated to go out and buy candy “just in case” some children get horribly lost and find themselves on your lonely, dark, dirt road with just a few houses on it, and these kids are then willing to venture down our long, dark, private driveway, and then enter into our fenced yard with 3 large and friendly but intimidating Alaskan malamutes making a ruckus at their costumed presence, and then walk all the way up to our front door and knock to proclaim trick or treat, but they never do, come, ever, because children go for density, not dark, rural roads with a few measly houses on ‘em, so you end up eating all the candy you got “just in case”. It's a beautiful ritual. I love Halloween.

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November 2007


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