Got a spam phone call.
-- Hello.
-- Hi, Tom. I’m a tech from Microsoft and I’m calling to tell you your computer is infected with a virus.
-- My name’s not Tom.
-- Oh? What’s your name?
-- Lazlo.
-- And what’s your last name, Lazlo?
-- Lazlo.
-- No, your last name.
-- It’s Lazlo.
-- You’re Lazlo Lazlo?
-- So nice they named me twice.
-- Uh, I was calling to tell you that your computer-
-- How’s the weather in Redmond?
-- Where?
-- Redmond, Washington. You know, Microsoft. You know, where you supposedly work.
-- Yeah, it’s sunny.
-- Wrong. It’s never sunny in Seattle.
-- I meant it’s raining.
-- Of course you did. Say, what’s your name?
-- My name is, uh, Ken. Look Lazlo, I was calling to tell you that your computer is infected with malware and for $500 dollars I can remove it remotely for you. All I need is a credit card.
-- Ok.
2 minutes later he responds.
-- You still there?
-- I’m right here.
-- I thought you were off getting your wallet or something.
-- Nope, I’ve been right here the whole time.
-- Why didn’t you say something?
-- Why didn’t you say something first?
-- Ok, Lazlo, give me your credit card numbers.
-- You remove the virus first.
-- What?
-- The virus infecting my computer. Remove it.
-- You must pay first.
-- As an act of good faith, you must do what you say you can do, Ken. Then I pay.
-- It doesn’t work that way, Lazlo.
-- If it doesn’t work that way than it doesn’t work.
-- You must pay me 500 dollars first.
-- Microsoft Ken, I insist, you go first.
-- If you don’t give me a credit card your computer will stop working, Lazlo.
-- No it won’t.
-- Yes it will.
-- It won’t because there is no virus on it. It won’t because you are a scammer. It won’t because of all that, Ken.
Silence on the phone.
-- My name’s not really Ken.
-- And my computer’s not really infected.
-- I thought Lazlo Lazlo sounded fishy.
-- Just like your scam, not Ken.
Click.
