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KeithSpeak- December 2009




December 1, 2009


Linda was in Rome. Finally.

She closed her eyes to better remember that romantically inclined thirteen year old girl who had promised herself Rome someday.

December 2, 2009

I'm finding it kind of eerie that this computer seems to be self correcting things. For instance, when I started using this new version of Word, it didn't seem to understand hyperlinks. It just wouldn't make any. You could get deep into a few menus and click the checkbox to turn them on, you could alter the Normal Template to accept them, but every time I rebooted Word, it would revert to not making hyperlinks. Yesterday, it turned itself into a hyperlinking machine. Anything I typed became a hyperlink to nowhere. I started using an older version of Word just so I could get some work done. This morning, I opened the new Word with the intention of getting to the bottom of this anomaly, when I find that everything is hyperlinking like normal. Well jeez, what's up with that?


December 3, 2009
Writers are always whining about how they don't have anything good to write about. So today I'm being super helpful by offering ideas anyone can run with.
1.)  Every year, 2500 left handed people die in accidents using right handed implements the wrong way.
2.)  A movie: Bill, Karen
                    Karen, Bill
      A guy visits a psychic and she tells him that he is going to marry a woman named Karen. So he will only date Karens. Why waste his time on Marys or Carolines when he's not going the distance with them? He will, of course, fall in love with a woman not named Karen in spite of his intentions. And of course, it will turn out that ever since she was a little girl, she shared a secret name with her beloved Grandmother - and the secret name was Karen! AND the beloved Grandmother was psychic and told the girl that she would in fall in love with a guy named Bill! Then she dies, Grandma. BUT she was rich as sin and Karen and Bill get all her money and live happily ever after in dead Grandma's big 'ol mansion! Now that's a movie. The end.   
3. ) You feel the advice you're being given by your doctor is wrong for you. When the doctor pooh poohs your "feelings", say to him, "I know my body. You know ideas about my body."
4.) Witty repartee:
            -- What's going on?
            -- I'm having dinner with the Queen.
            -- Ah, that's both hoity and toity.
5.)  Some philosophical advice a character can say:
  • You can't be everything to everybody, only something to yourself.
  • You are the only person who knows your true needs and desires, and therefore the only person who has any sense of what might be needed to fulfill them.
All right, my brain is all worn out from thinking up all these great ideas and stuff. I should probably go rest.
December 4, 2009

                            Every life is a road walked to the horizon. 


December 5, 2009

My wife Susan has been doing yoga for quite some time. Another friend is a tai chi instructor. Yet another good friend has been pumping iron for over fifteen years, and it shows in all of them. Though these forms are different, and appear to be about the physical, each of them is a meditation for the person doing them.


December 6, 2009

Get this, I am giving the exact same Christmas presents to three different friends. I came up with something that is a bit homemade, a tad time intensive, requires a pinch of money, a dash of effort and though questionable legally, is such a good gift I'm going to do it three times. But alas, I can't tell you what it is. I know! Mr. Tease! But my friends read KeithSpeak. So my hands are tied, my lips are sealed, other parts may be bound as necessary.


December 7, 2009

Our furnace went out last night. Brrr, when you can see your breath inside the house, you know it's cold. You'd think this freeze would be well below the operating range of a computer, but it's soldiering on, 'course the screen keeps frosting up... 


December 8, 2009

It's 4:30 in the morning, I'm listening to the Beatles, eating cold pizza, drinking hot coffee, working my way around the Internet. I am struck by several things: how truly awesome the Beatles were; how much of everything there is on the Internet; how quiet and peaceful it is to be up at this hour; how cold pizza is the best. Life is good. Life is good.


December 9, 2009

Destroy...I must destroy... Zombies? No silly, I have two hard drives from the old computer that have all my precious data neatly organized on their little whirling platters. I am going to smash them into a million pieces with the front end loader on the tractor. I am going to hammer them into submission so that all my precious data goes to the great digital graveyard in the sky. Then I'll recycle all the pieces. Neat, tidy, yet destructive, my kind of afternoon.


December 10, 2009

Sorry all, but it snowed last night and the plumber is due to arrive at 8 so I have to go plow our driveway or he won't be able to get in, and then we won't get something fixed that needs to be fixed. Later, my pretties.


December 11, 2009

This is either unbridled laughter,


or an old timey gal playing air guitar while channeling her inner Steven Tyler on Walk This Way.


December 12, 2009

I got an e-mail from someone who purported to know me from way back when. By way of proof, he related an anecdote about the two of us. But I don't remember anything of the sort, nor do I know who this person is or why he is trying so hard to convince me I do. I chalked it off to some social engineering spam, deleted it, and went on my way. This morning, another e-mail, this time with a picture of me and him together. Studying the pic it's easy to detect signs of sloppy Photoshopping. Okay, that's enough crazy for me - I added his IP to my e-mail blacklist. Some people.


December 13, 2009

My day is to be frittered away watching football and hockey. I am checking out of my responsibilities, what is expected of me, what my To Do list says to do, even the demands of this very site. If my day goes well, and I expect it to, I may even find time to drink a beer. But I'm not in this alone. No no no, I hope your day goes just as well because the more of us that enjoy our lives, the better off we will all be. Will too.


December 14, 2009


The piano player took a break. The crowd sat and watched her smoke the entire cigarette, knowing that when it was finished, she would turn her back to them and once again they would be denied the pleasure of her beauty.


December 15, 2009

We have a squirrel nesting in a pile of downed wood just outside the metal fence that encloses the yard. In the morning, this squirrel will emerge from its living quarters, hop up on the top rail of the metal fence and run along it half way around the yard to the bird feeder, where it climbs down to the ground and eats. But we got a few inches of snow last night, and the top rail of the fence was a tunnel of snow and the ground was buried in it. The squirrel, determined to get to the birdfeeder, took the most extraordinary, circuitous route, jumping from tree to tree, until it got to the feeder. If we had to go through that much effort to eat breakfast, imagine what a slim nation we would be.


December 16, 2009

I've been up since 5 and there has been so much going on that you'd think it was at least 8 o'clock  already, but it's only 7:30. Surprised? Me too. Because if I told you all the stuff that has happened since I awoke, you would be amazed. I know I am. But to recount it would be to relive it, and I'm not going there. So suffice it to say that I'm just glad I didn't get up at 4.


December 17, 2009

I have 3 clocks on my computer desktop and yet I don't wear a watch. If it isn't important enough for me to know the time when I'm moving about in the world, why do I have 3 clocks on my computer screen? Is time more important on the Internet? And do I find the fact that I apparently need to know this, pleasant or disturbing?


December 18, 2009

So I was sitting here thinking, Gee, I wonder what was shaking last year at this time, so I opened December 2008 and quite frankly, I was kind of shocked at how fun KeithSpeak is and how thoroughly I enjoyed reading it. Turns out I'm a big fan of myself. Perhaps for some, this admission will be too much, too outré, too...too. Of course, I feel your pain.


December 19, 2009

Some images are so visually captivating that logic defers to imagination.



December 20, 2009

How do you determine that something is right for you? It's a feeling, yes? A great ally in any decision you need to make is how you feel about it, not how you think about it. Isn't it true that some decisions are snap, simple to make, and easy to commit to, while others are long drawn out affairs where there is no obvious clear cut choice and you can agonize - torture yourself! - over a decision? Just remember, it's how you feel about it, not think about it. The differentiation between the two will imbue your choice. Get me?


December 21, 2009

The truth of the matter is, whatever you believe to be true, is.


December 22, 2009



Maddie and Sophie on a Winter's day


December 23, 2009

At last, my own handwriting all in one place. Ta-dah,  KeithFont. I'm guessing it will pretty much scorch the Internet like a blazing wildfire and become the default font for everything there is. Hey, Maybe I should put a warning label on it - Stand back! Hot font, you might get burned!  something like that. You think?


December 24, 2009

Political corruption, two words that just seem to find each other.


December 25, 2009

Off the coast of Ireland is a ghost ship captained by Sir John Walsh, a former Senator, avid sportsman, and defender of the Realm, crudely driven from his lofty position by a ruthless group of well connected, greedy company magnates intent on turfing the only governmental overseer of their questionable activities. Tossed from office and hanging at home, Sir John was haunted by thoughts of revenge, but how do you hurt the greedy and powerful? A man used to commanding, Sir John found some criminals with boat skills on Craigslist and morphed himself into a pirate ship captain, and plying the coastal waters, took back from those that took from him. In a Rolling Stone interview he said, "You hurt the greedy by hitting them in their pocketbook, because their self-worth is completely tied up in how much money they have. So losing it will just kill them, and I will be revenged. That's my plan anyway." It's a fascinating story, including this: Sir John's wife, Lady Sara Jane McWilson-Walsh, who was recently seen hanging out with P. Diddy in Southampton, put it this way to a Tattler reporter, "John's always out at sea getting his revenge. What am I getting? Bupkis. Well I have my needs too, you know. Me and P.? We're just friends." A fascinating story with an unexpected celebrity filled twist! I only wish there was more.


December 26, 2009

I'm going out for a walk with the dogs. Though it's cold, we'll be warmed by each other's company and the physical exertion of the walk.  Our spirits will be nurtured by the scenic winter views, our attitude and demeanor will reflect the contentment of being at home, on our own property, with no agenda other than our enjoyment. And when we return in an hour's time, we will all be better off for having taken that walk. I'm telling you, it's the simple stuff that makes a life. Get me?


December 27, 2009

When you see a reflection of yourself in a private place like the bathroom or your bedroom, do you talk to it as if it's another person? Of course you do. My advice? Make sure your self-talk is positive and not detrimental. If you look at yourself in the mirror and beat yourself up for what you see, you are perpetrating a mugging just as real as if it happened on the street. To yourself! Stop doing that, ok. Instead? Build yourself up and notice every little sweet thing about yourself. Talk to yourself as if you liked you. This is your life, flaws and all, so balance it - and enough with the drama of self-flagellation, ok?


December 28, 2009

Ah technology...

My first computer screen was a green 9" monochrome retina burning nightmare,

My second was a top heavy 17" CRT with a big caboose and monster beige bezel,

Ah, but next was a sleek black 19" flatscreen that sizzled,

And now it's a 24" widescreen LCD that is, um, way delicious.

After this, I expect there to be holograms and interactive 3-D projections for future computer screens.

We can use them in our flying cars.

It'll be great.


December 29, 2009

This was kind of neat. I had just ripped a bunch of CDs into my music library and then put it on shuffle play while I did some other work. At one point, on comes a raucous throbbing Tom Petty paean to drugs and loose women which gets my feet tapping and blood pumping and takes over the space in a way that can't be ignored, immediately followed by a track off a meditation collection and within about 20 seconds, my entire demeanor and body changed. I was all amped up and feeling it, and less than half a minute later, I was totally relaxed and calm and floating on the music. Exceptional stuff, the body, the mind, the ether.


December 30, 2009

Just a small town Manitoba boy, he couldn't believe his good fortune.

-- Paris, two sexy stews, a waking dream --

If the guys at the grain elevator could see him now! 



December 31, 2009

I haven't thought much about the next year, perhaps it's time? Doesn't it start tomorrow? Isn't this one over soon? All these questions! Frankly, I'm surprised that I still have so many unanswered questions here at the end of the decade, if indeed that is what it is. Is it? Or is that next year? There I go again! Lordy.



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KeithSpeak                                    January 2010


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