Overheard a mother and daughter at the Farmer’s Market.
-- I hate fresh vegetables. I want to eat meat like Daddy does.
-- I’m raising you as a vegetarian, Cassie.
-- I hate it. All my friends go to McDonald’s, but I can’t.
-- You will grow up strong and healthy and they will all die off like flies. What you eat is important.
-- I want to eat meat.
-- How many times have I said, don’t eat anything with a face.
-- I could sneak some.
-- Don’t even joke about that.
-- Why are you doing this to me?
-- Because I love you.
-- But Daddy eats meat. Don’t you love him?
-- Sometimes...
-- I hate this family.
-- Come on, Cas, let’s find some good tasty veggies.
-- You’re joking, right? We might as well look for a unicorn.
-- Unicorns have faces.
-- I didn't mean to eat. I meant there are no such thing as tasty veg-
-- I know what you meant. But don't joke about unicorns. They have faces too.
-- They're not real, Mom.
-- Still.
April 2, 2026
For years their computer savvy 16 year old son has been spamming older people out of their retirement savings. His parents finally asked him where he was getting the money when he bought a $25,000 Ducati motorcycle. He made up some bullshit story that his mother thought was plausible but his father didn’t. He literally took the kid out to the woodshed and beat the truth out of him. When his father found out his kid was pilfering the life savings of older people, he reported him to the police and gave them his son’s computer. Because he was 16, he appeared in juvenile court. However, because he had ripped off so many people for significant amounts of money, he was sentenced as an adult and put in a federal penitentiary. While incarcerated, the kid was abused and eventually committed suicide. His parents never got over it and divorced. The modern day American dream?
April 3, 2026
April 4, 2026
You know the phrase, They don’t make ‘em like they used to? We just had an appliance die that lasted so long it outlasted the company. For over 30 years we had a Kenmore refrigerator from Sears (remember them?) that gave up the ghost yesterday. It was so old it still used freon. No one ever sheds tears over a lost appliance, but crying over room temperature spilt milk might just suffice.
April 5, 2026
Well, America is now pretty much a world pariah. How’s all that winning bullshit going for ya? Oh look, Diaper Donnie is playing golf again; just ruining the country 18 holes at a time. Isn’t that something.
April 6, 2026
A friend asked me to look at her tower computer as it was overheating. The outside vents were covered in dog hair (she has 3 Huskies). I opened the case and found an enormous amount of dog hair inside. Black and white strands had wrapped themselves around the fan blades so it was barely spinning. There was so much hair on the motherboard it looked like it was covered in a fur blanket. I cleaned out the case and put it all back together. The computer hummed like it was new. She was grateful. The Huskies couldn’t have cared less. Sigh.
April 7, 2026
A hard core, not to be trusted neighbour asked if he could borrow our tractor. I told him no, but I would use it to help him. That wasn’t good enough. He went to another neighbour and asked to borrow his tractor, and he let him. The guy returned it three days later, trashed. The paint was scratched to hell, it had dented fenders, a mangled, misaligned front bucket and multiple deep slashes on the tires. He literally dropped it off and said, Thanks, before leaving. He never explained what he did with it, never offered to pay for repairs and burned any good will he had with the guy who loaned him the equipment. I didn’t dodge a bullet, I was just better at reading people than the guy whose tractor got hosed.
April 8, 2026
Ack, I have to go out of town for the next two days. See you on Friday.
