KeithSpeak - February 2011

 

 

 

February 1, 2011
You know how when somebody says, Hey boy, your work is just beginning! but you've already been putting in a maximum effort just to get to that point and the thought that what you've done so far is merely what? the start? the groundwork? the stinkin' foundation of what is to come and that everything from here on out will be even more intense and all consuming and let's be frank, might well kill you dead, and the thought of it all just makes your head explode? That's where I am right now. But in a good way.
 
February 2, 2011
-- I'm so distraught. The Canadians are metering my beloved Internet.
-- But I brought you flowers.
-- I have virtual flowers.
-- But I climbed this bloody trellis and came in through the window!
-- Trellis schmellis, I want net neutrality and uncapped data.
-- I don't understand, what are those things, Millicent?
-- They are the price of a free world, Mandrake. That's all, just the free world. 
 
February 3, 2011
Drat, may have gone down a wrong alley, tried something that doesn't seem to be working. My dilemma? If someone says they can do something, and you bank on it, and then they can't, well, now you're in a pickle, and a lose-lose situation. I'm at the point where the best break even I can hope for is that the experience gained will offset the energy sucked out. Sigh.  
 
February 5, 2011
Something I hadn't tried before, but I assumed I would be good at, happened, and I found out instead that I sucked. Royally. Yeesh. Right away I was forced to suffer fools gladly, which to me is like the definition of egregious. From there it pretty much went ballistic - I got frustrated, then mad, and when I couldn't find a way to make it better, had me casting about for the weapon I would use to kill these people who were ruining my life. In the end I just had to bail. I like to think lives were saved. Word to the wise: don't be asking me to do that again. Ok? 
 
February 6, 2011
He didn't have a clue what women want, but he knew a guy's dream when he saw it.
 
February 7, 2011
In all of recorded history, has there ever been a good time to go to your parents and declare, "Mom, Dad, I'm going to be a poet." 
 
February 8, 2011
You build up a life under whatever illusions you care to believe. Beliefs are subjective and form your unique world view. But that means there are as many world views as there are people in the world. And since everybody isn't right and everybody isn't wrong, that can only mean that everything is an illusion. Get me?  
 
February 9, 2011
Doesn't it surprise anyone that living organisms will find their way into anything? You open up a bag of flour that has been sealed in a plastic bag inside a sealed can and there will be things living in it. Flour! Who can live in flour?! You have something in a fridge too long and stuff grows on it - in the fridge! It's freezing in there! How do these things get there? Alchemy? Fairies? Vortex manipulator? 
 
February 10, 2011
I was being accused of being a geek. I was like, what? Just because one has a few minimal tech skills certainly doesn't qualify them as a geek. Accusing me of being a geek is like saying Joan of Arc was cute. Did that make sense? Anyway, he jibbers on about geek this and geek that and my mind drifts away to a phone app we are developing and by the time I realize he may be right, he's done ranting. So I say, Yeah, so? hoping to keep it going because I love a good bit of rhetoric and watching him get all worked up was mildly entertaining. The things we do. 
 
February 11, 2011
-- Yeah, I've killed a few things in my time.
-- Me too. I've killed lots of things.
-- I've got a gun in my belt, a knife in my belt and a cannon on my back. There's never been a moment when I'm not ready to kill something.  
-- Listen, just 'cause I wear a tie when I go hunting doesn't make me a dilettante killer. Heck, you're the one with the pipe and fancy footwear.
-- I really like to kill the rare and exotic.  
-- Me too. I love killing those things.
-- Have you ever shot a Liger? Bastard child of a tiger and a lion?
-- Well...no.
-- That's what I'm talking about.
(Pause)
-- Say, you wanna go kill some stuff?
-- Sure, why not? 
 
February 12, 2011
The sun is out, squirrels are chasing each other all over the yard, songbirds are in the trees singing, deer are just at the edge of the woods grazing - it's like a real life Disney movie. The only thing missing is Kurt Russell.
 
February 13, 2011
Kurt called. He told me his plane was acting up and that he couldn't get to our place before 2, but I told him the moment had passed. Ominous gray clouds have replaced the sun, the squirrels are gone, the deer are gone and though the songbirds are still here, they've stopped singing. He said that happens to him a lot. It's the burden of fleshing out Disney moments all over the world. He's often late, he's often exhausted; it's taking a toll on his marriage. I really felt for the guy. Walt, baby, what have you wrought!? 
 
February 14, 2011
They met on ZombieLove.com and had their first date on Valentine's Day. It started out well enough, with Darryl giving Hazel a peck on the cheek. But one thing turned to another and before they knew it, Darryl and Hazel had eaten her parents, her little sister Queenie and an uncooked steak from the fridge. Those lovebirds! 
 
February 15, 2011
The dryer broke. Nights at the laundromat. Unhappy wife. Old dryer, toast. New dryer, not delivered. Unhappy wife. Unhappy wife.  
 
February 16, 2011
A bout of nostalgia wafted through my being and I found myself reliving memories. On the face of it, a lifetime seems so short, and yet remembrances seem so long ago. It must be a trick of the mind, living in the present moment, yet being back in some other time simultaneously. But we all do it effortlessly; we are magicians; this is magic.
 
February 17, 2011
So this gal says that she is psychic and can divine anything. I ask her to tell me the name of my high school. She conjures for a moment and then says something wrong. Too bad, even though she insists it's the right name, but I know it's wrong, too bad. Three months later, I'm talking to my sister and for whatever reason, I mention our high school, whereby my sister proceeds to tell me that it's not called that anymore, the school changed its name. It's now called, of course, the name the psychic gave me. Oh my my.  
 
February 18, 2011
I'm having a party
A party for two
Ain't inviting nobody
Nobody but you
                                   S. Twain 
 
February 19, 2011
I went to an office that had 6 workstations and each one had all the power cords and USB cables funnelled through a color coded cord holder so that they were labelled and organized and out of the way. It struck me as a bit anal, but the overall effect was to make the office look respectable, tidy and uncluttered - not a bad impression to impart. 
 
February 20, 2011
If the essence of who you are ceases to exist after you are no longer living this mortal coil, then, um, what's the point? What's the point of being this biological awesomeness in this sublime theatre of reality if it isn't part and parcel of something more? We can't even wrap our heads around the immensity of the universe in which we live, doesn't it stand to reason that the afterlife, something that isn't even a part of this reality, would be even more unfathomable? Look, if this is some curiosity, some singularity of happenstance that we live, experience - think , and we do it but once and nevermore, then we're superannuated even as we draw our very first breath. And that's just...cheesy.  
 
February 21, 2011
Today is our last day with something precious. That's all I can say.
 
February 23, 2011
Are you one of those people able to guess someone's age with relative accuracy? Does it help, is it a useful thing? Because I can't tell if someone is 19 or 40. Though I'm no good at discerning the age of the outer person, I can certainly tell if the inner person has been around the cosmic block a time or two. But again, is that helpful at all, is it a useful thing? 
 
February 24, 2011
I went out of town yesterday. The big city showed me exactly why I don't live there - people, traffic, retail excess - and it was easy to grok the relationship between the two places: our little town is a cog in a machine, whereas the big city is the machine. I'm less clear on what that says about me.   
 
February 25, 2011
It was a senseless killing by craven pumpkins and even though he could hardly see between the tears,
Carl just had to get out of there, go for a drive, sort things out.
 
February 26, 2011
If you have to ask yourself if you're on a roll, you're not. If you're feeling pretty good about things but you're not quite sure you'd call it a bona fide roll, you may be on a pre-roll and not yet fully into the swing of everything going right and having a golden touch at your command. Even though the nascent stages of a roll can be confusing, when you're on a roll, you know it. And how do you kill a roll, stop it dead, say bye bye in a heartbeat? You start wondering how long it will last, when the other shoe's going to drop, and of course, keep telling yourself that this is too good to be true and can't possibly continue. That's as good as carbon fibre brakes, water on fire, a knockout left hook. Your roll will be gone and the unevenness of your life will reassert itself. Ugh. Ok, that's probably enough good information for today. 
 
February 27, 2011
It's one of those days where, you know, you think it's going to go one way and it turns out to go another. Maybe I should warn everybody? Stand back! You think? 
 
February 28, 2011
Melancholy has overtaken my being. Dizziness, fleeting nausea and a sense of dread round out my demeanor. I'm going to the dentist. Laurence Olivier and Dustin Hoffman come to mind. Nice, eh? Let's face it, this profession has an image problem - one that even laughing gas hasn't managed to erase. Maybe if they didn't wear those mad scientist white smocks? Nah, that's not it. It's the drills. What other profession takes power tools to your face? I'm just sayin'...
 

 
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