KeithSpeak - April 2011

 

 

 

April 1, 2011
This month has started out pretty darned sweetly. Cold pizza for breakfast, um. The Vancouver Canucks have won the Presidents' Trophy (which goes to the best team in the NHL). A business opportunity of significant magnitude has just magically appeared. A dear old friend whom I'd lost touch with has sought me out. And a computer glitch that has vexed me for days has suddenly fixed itself. Not too shabby considering it's a mere 8 hours into April, eh?
 
April 2, 2011
I'm telling you boss, this will revolutionize the skee ball industry! My breakthrough was to make the circles smaller and tighter - but we use the same sized ball! It's way harder to get it in there now. No one will win! We'll make a fortune!
 
April 3, 2011
Stayed up way too late last night watching this train wreck of a movie. It was like being with someone so disgusting and crude that their total impropriety was a form of entertainment in itself. Cheapened by this cinematic tripe I felt in need of a shower after the last turgid frame. It was a complete disaster and I stayed for the whole dirty mess. Man, the things we do.
 
April 4, 2011
Something worked before, now it doesn`t. Grrrr. Is it worse to have experienced this thing fully functioning only to have it cease functioning, than it is to never have had it work at all? Knowing what you're missing sucks; would not knowing be so bad? Grrrr.
 
April 5, 2011
  
April 6, 2011
Yea, our new social network is currently in limited beta. Some stuff works, some doesn't, some isn't even close. After we achieve a blistering consistency and smoothness of operation, we'll release the general beta to the public. At that point we'll either be drinking champagne or deflecting brickbats. Can't wait to see how that plays out.
 
April 7, 2011
I'm helping a friend move. One of the things he has in his garage is a busted KISS pinball machine. He tells me it's worth $5,000 - broken. I suggest he's been smoking crack. He tells me they're really rare and that only a few exist in the world. I suggest he's also been huffing glue with his crack. He estimates it will probably cost a couple of hundred bucks to repair and that the pinball machine could easily triple in value. Now I know it's not just drugs or glue, he's actually lost his mind. At least it all makes sense now.
 
April 8, 2011
If you want to make something of yourself, what's stopping you? See, just as you are the only one who can say you want to make something of yourself, and mean it, you are also the only one who can prevent that very thing from happening. Capish?
 
April 9, 2011
          Foxtongue
Honey, is it ok if my Mom moves in with us?
The IRS called, something about your taxes.
Sweetie, I shaved my head, you like?
I hear George Bush wants to run again.
We're gonna be rich! I just met a prince from Nigeria!
Oh, were you saving that last piece of Kobe beef?
I'm pregnant, and I don't think it's yours.
 
April 11, 2011
I met with a potential investor for our social network. He said that for X dollars he wanted "full control". I asked him just what he would do with "full control". He didn't quite know, but he wanted it, demanded it. For him, money was a synonym for entitlement. For me, it sounded like someone yelling 'fire' in a theatre, and I got the heck out of there.
 
April 12, 2011
A guy told me he was giving 110% to something. I asked him how he could possibly give more than 100% to anything. He said he was trying extra hard. I said, so before you were at what, 80% and you found another gear to move you to 100%, and now you think you've gone beyond that? How do you get more energy out of a finite amount of yourself? How do you possibly give 10% more than you have? Isn't it possible, I went on, that you overestimated the original amount of energy expended and that instead of being at 80%, you were really at, say, 70% and thus you're off 10% at the end? He said, Huh? Cripes, am I that hard to follow?  
 
April 13, 2011
A date? You kidding me? Can't you see how fashionable I am? You're wearing a pocket protector for god sakes! Honey, here's what you can do for me. Light my ciggy. Then knock a couple bucks off that air conditioner. Capish?
 
April 14, 2011
A friend came by when I was up in the field with the dogs. With no one home, she left a freshly baked apple pie and a note by our front door. When we returned, I let the dogs in the yard and then went down to the barn. While I was putting away my tools, they were eating the pie. When I got back up to the house, I found an empty tin in the yard and my friend's note. Jeez.
 
April 15, 2011
I was trying to time something so that it didn't happen too early or too late and it was being supremely difficult to manage. So instead of doubling down - tweaking this, modifying that, messing with what I could control in what seems to be an uncontrollable situation - I decided to approach it from my psychic intent. I need this thing to happen when the timing is right for it to happen. That's all. So I'm calling upon The Force. Shrewd, eh?
 
April 16, 2011
Lots to say but no time to say it! Isn't that something? Ta.
 
April 17, 2011
They say smoke will kill you, but what about its ethereal beauty?
 
April 18, 2011
Just yesterday I see that the bluebirds have returned to our field. It's Spring! I wake up this morning and it's snowing. There are several inches on the ground and frankly, I'm kind of shocked by it - what must those bluebirds be thinking?
 
April 19, 2011
Go to a pub to meet a friend and was greeted instead by his wife. She told me that she's mad at him, she grounded him, she needed a drink, so she's taking his place. Well, wasn't that odd and a tad awkward. Still, no worse than when other friends see me having a drink with his wife and the rumours start flying. Sheesh.
 
April 20, 2011
I was on Skype with someone in Japan when they had an earthquake. It was kind of surreal to sit there and watch everything shake on the computer screen while all was stable on my side. The shaking lasted about 15 seconds and no real damage was done to my friend's house, but watching it live was, like I said, surreal.
 
April 21, 2011
We're getting very close to the general release beta of our new social network. I'm sure that's like the most exciting news you've heard in what, the last 60 seconds or so? It is for me. Anyway, we'll soon throw open the doors so the huddling masses can pour in and overload our servers and crash everything and...hey, wait a minute. Tee hee. Soon, my friends.
 
April 22, 2011
Happy Earth Day.
 
April 23, 2011
This guy swore he knew me. But he couldn't remember from where, or what my name was, but I looked familiar and he was sure he knew who I was, even though he just couldn't say. Me, I didn't know the man from Adam, but I let him continue to fumble for details because it was kind of amusing to watch him try and prove his assertion with a memory that didn't exist. He finally asked for my name and I said, Bill, to which he cried out, Bill! That's right! I can't believe I forgot that! Sorry, man. So how are you?
 
April 24, 2011
You're on a warm sandy beach by yourself. The ocean is calm, the sky is blue, there is a soothing gentle breeze. There is nothing else going on in the world except this moment for you. This unguarded, relaxed state reaches a part of you that humanity seems to tax to the extreme - your very soul. In this moment, nature has allowed you to reconnect with your spirit, and if you're mindful of this union after you leave the beach, the rest of your life will be better for it.
 
April 26, 2011
Of all the organizations in all the world, how do you join this one, come home to your wife and exclaim, Honey, I'm an Odd Fellow! and not expect her to cry?
 
April 27, 2011
Game 7, round 1, Stanley Cup Finals, overtime, Vancouver finally vanquishes the Chicago Blackhawks. I believed I aged years during this series. If this heart stopping trend continues through the next 3 rounds, I'll be 87 by the time the Canucks win their first Stanley Cup in June. 87! Lordy.
 
April 28, 2011
I was standing on a busy street corner watching all the people walking and driving by; lives in a constant state of dynamic change. It struck me how we all move through our lives like we move through our environment, on the way to somewhere else.
 
April 29, 2011
             He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was different.
 
April 30, 2011
I have a mountain of notes on my desk, so in a fit of avoidance behavior I thought I'd better tidy up, consolidate, see what's in there. Funny thing is, I kept running into notes about other notes, and not what the note was about, just a reminder note to look at the other note. Digging deeper, I'd find reminder notes about the reminder notes. A Matterhorn of redundancy littered my desk. Wow. In the end, I avoided work for a good 45 minutes.
 

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