(Author unknown)

I love my master
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel


I lie belly up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be


Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face


I sound the alarm
Paper boy - come to kill us all
Look Look Look Look Look


I sound the alarm
Garbage man - come to kill us all
Look Look Look Look Look


I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush; Hello Spot
Sniff this and weep


How do I love thee
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug


My human is home
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle


I hate my choke chain
Look world - they strangle me
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack


Sleeping here, my chin
On your feet - no greater bliss - well
Maybe catching rats


Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do


The cat is not all
Bad - she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls


Dig under fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there


I am your best friend
Now, always and especially
When you are eating


You may call them fleas
But they are far more - I call
Them a vocation


My owner's mood is
Romantic - I lie near her feet
I pass wind