KeithSpeak - October 2008

 

 

 

October 1, 2008

The Buckenhunny brothers of Southampton had such a huge lead on the Queen Mary 2 that the nervous bettors in New York lowered the odds of them winning to 1 to 2.

 

October 2, 2008

I’m leaving today on a special international mission for the next 7 days. It’s top secret, of course, but I don’t mind telling you that I’ve been asked to quell some uprisings, take down some bad guys and stop a few injustices. Only too happy to make the world a better place, I will return here next Wednesday after saving the planet and all. In between the danger and the intrigue, I will think of you constantly and miss you like crazy. See y’all next week. Ta.

 

October 8, 2008

5 tough guys were standing around talking...

 

October 9, 2008

According to YouTube, on October 14th, this coming Tuesday, either a real space ship of 2,000 miles in length is supposed to show up in our skies and remain for 3 days, OR, a fake projected hologram of an enormous space ship (courtesy of NASA’s project BlueBeam) is to show up in our skies. If it’s real, oh boy! If it’s fake, my belief in the good of humanity will likely vanish all together. And if nothing shows up - darn you You Tube!

 

October 10, 2008

It’s been getting freezing cold up here lately and I would love to start feeding the birds, but the bears have yet to hibernate and putting seed out will only attract them. Every morning I have to stare down a phalanx of hungry song birds gathered outside my office window. I tell them I’m sorry there’s no food. I tell them why I can’t start feeding them yet. Together, we curse the bears.

 

October 11, 2008

Ooh, I had this dream last night where Albert Brooks and I were testing a new military speedboat that was sporty and obscenely expensive, but the engine overheated and we were left like lame ducks in the middle of the lake. I assumed Albert would make a few jokes out of this dead in the water thing but he said there was nothing funny about the military. Anyway, we get rescued and while being towed back to the dock, he starts making jokes. I said, You just said there was nothing funny about the military and he said, Except having to be rescued. Deep, huh?

 

October 12, 2008

A friend from Vancouver came up and we talked about databases and concrete construction and drank a few beers. Then we took the dogs for a walk around the field. Returning, we opened a few more beers and talked about Google and Japan and Oracle. Later on we got into WAN accelerators, advertising and yes, more beer.  In the end, I can honestly say, a swell time was had by all.

 

October 13, 2008

The ‘Let’s Learn Esperanto!’ class at Ford was such a big hit that they decided to name their newest vehicle the Au^tomobilo (car in Esperanto), a real beaut slated to make its debut just after the unveiling of their brand new flagship, the Edsel Once Again. So let’s see; Esperanto; the Au^tomobilo; Edsel. Gosh, could they be on any more of a roll? Hey, some Ford stock for me, please.

 

October 14, 2008

A KEITH PREDICTION, ta-dah

Every newly built residential home will be an energy generating building and not an energy consuming building (as is the current norm). Incorporating solar, wind and kinetic energy, all building materials (roofing, glass, wall cladding, etc.) will be made to generate electricity and the entire building itself will provide all the power a family needs to live. THAT is the wave of the future. Is too. Ta-dah.

 

October 15, 2008

I heard a woman on a radio show say that the Internet had ruined her family. Her husband and two daughters had Internet porn addictions, her son had a fantasy game playing addiction, she herself had an online shopping addiction and her sister, who lives with them, has a terrible gambling addiction that’s lost the poor thing her house and husband and that’s why she had to move in with them even though they don’t really have the room and she cries a lot. The Internet made us addicts, see, she explained. The talk show host asked her why she doesn’t disconnect the Internet, and the woman says that everyone’s support group is online and how would they get the help they need?! Silly! Yeesh.

 

October 16, 2008

Oh how clever. Susan’s cell phone battery died. A new battery costs more than a new cell phone. Hello? How does that make sense?

 

October 17, 2008

Anyone want to explain how it is that Bush and Cheney never got impeached?

 

October 18, 2008

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIThe TUCKER & SOPHIE & MADDIE ChroniclesIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

It’s Tucker’s 7th birthday! We’ll make sure it’s special for him because he’s special to us.

 

October 20, 2008

Two days ago I watched a squirrel enlarging the entry hole on a bluebird house so he could take it over and make a Winter home. It was on a 10 foot pole and the only way the squirrel could reach the opening was to hang from the birdhouse roof with his back feet and gnaw at the wood upside down.  He fell off the 10 foot pole twice, and twice scrambled back up to do his work. This morning I looked at the birdhouse and sticking his head out from the inside, was the squirrel. I wished him a good Winter and saluted his industry, knowing that next Spring, I’ll clean out his den and make it usable for the bluebirds it was intended for.

 

October 21, 2008

Susan and I went over to visit someone last night in another rural part of town and on the way saw a lynx cross in front of us, which was pretty cool and a bit rare, but even better was coming around a bend to find a bear running down the middle of the road. It eventually veered off into the bush but not before all of our dogs nearly stroked out from the excitement. Man, this is an awesome planet.

 

October 22, 2008

Susan’s new cell phone is a quad band, capable of operating on networks abroad. Our closest foreign country is the U.S. The per minute rate to make or receive a call from the States? $3.85 a minute. Puh-leeze.

 

October 23, 2008

Jeez, got up late today, missed one appointment, barely made a second, and now have to finish out my morning without a single cup of coffee, my wits about me, or the revelry of an incredible set of dreams which allowed me to sleep past the alarm in the first place.

 

October 24, 2008

Judith was sure her twin radial engines could power her son’s skateboard to a new land speed record if he could manage to stay on, not go deaf from the pounding of her 16 humongous pistons or get burned by the 1000 degree exhaust manifolds.

 

October 25, 2008

Altruism: behavior by an animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but that benefits others of its species.

I figure that people who love open source architecture must, on the whole, be altruistic, because it’s a very altruistic notion that you would put a great deal of work into something and then give it away to be copied, modified, improved upon, etc. You know?

 

October 26, 2008

FIRST LINES WE’D LIKE TO SEE

A million miles from Earth a flaming meteor with the names of Bush and Cheney on it was hurtling toward Earth to finally complete the job of removing from office the most destructive moron President ever along with his evil side-kick puppet master veep – oh, and Rove is visiting for lunch that day so he goes too - finally completing the job that this current spineless Senate and Congress refused to do even though that was why they were elected with a mandate: dump these crooks and liars, being the will of the people and all, but even that wouldn’t matter soon, as the final end to the heinous reign would soon commence and all the people would rejoice.

 

October 27, 2008

Hey, how about a hip hop version of that old poetic saw:

Roses are red,

Violets are cool,

Sugar is sweet,

And so are your Mama

 

October 28, 2008

Starting a new field project tomorrow. A friend is going to bring over his D4 Caterpillar dozer and a mini-excavator and we are going to create a privacy berm along one side of our field that borders a road. If, as I believe, it turns out to be an amusing and entertaining dig in the dirt, I shall document the whole thing here. Won’t that be special!

 

October 29, 2008

Sorry, I’ve changed my mind. I’m dropping all talk of the field project. We started digging yesterday, and it went well, but the destruction is ugly and there is something sad about the way our field looks. So now I just want it to be finished and the dirt scars grown over with fresh field grasses. Yes, I’d like to jump ahead two years please.

 

October 30, 2008

I’m in the grocery store at the end of an aisle when I hear a woman talking to herself. I look around the corner and see a lady standing in front of a table full of Halloween candy, with a frown on her face and worry in her voice. How much should she buy; Should she get all the same kind; Should she pick something healthy; What if the kids don’t like her offerings; What if the kids don’t come; What if too many kids come; What if she runs out of candy; What if she has too much left over and has to eat it herself...

I wanted to tell her that Halloween is a fun time and that she was stressing out about something that is supposed to be fun, but I didn’t, she was too wrapped up in her questions with no answers, so I just rolled on down the aisle. Ten minutes later, I couldn't help it, I'm thinking: How much candy should I buy; Will we actually get kids this year; How much do I want to eat if we don't...

 

October 31, 2008

They let Daylight Savings Time go too far. It should have changed weeks ago. It was natural to do it then. Waiting until November feels like too little too late. When there’s already snow on the streets of London and Toronto, and you’re still on Summer time, you missed the boat, boys.


 

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KeithSpeak                                    November 2008

 




 

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