It's Sunday morning. The family is getting dressed for services. Mom goes to check on everyone's progress and stops short when she reaches son Devin's room. He's still in his pajamas.
-- Devin, you have to get dressed for church.
-- I'm not going.
-- What?
-- I don't believe in religion anymore.
-- What are you talking about?
-- God is made up. There is no God.
-- Devin, that's blasphemy!
-- No, it's just my personal opinion after thinking about it. There is nothing real about the God of any religion. They're all different, they're all invisible, they're all either made up or attributed to someone from thousands of year ago. Doesn't that tell you something?
-- You get dressed this minute. We're going to be late. We can discuss this another time, Devin.
-- I'm not going to church, Mom. Ever. Religion is bullshit. That's why there are so many in the world. Everyone makes one up to suit their purposes. God is an imaginary, made up creation to fulfill someone or some organization's agenda. I'm done with it.
-- Where do you get these ideas? Who are your friends? Teens think they know it all. You think you're bigger than God?
-- There is no God. There is no hell. There are no angels on clouds and pearly gates. All that is made up bullshit. Religions are cults.
-- All right. I've heard enough. This isn't the last of this. I'll tell everyone at church you're sick. Something you ate.
-- Tell them the truth. That's what I've been trying to explain. It's all made up. All of it. Even your excuses for missing it.
-- You just wait'll I tell your father. He'll smack the fear of God back into you.
August 4, 2025
Overheard two lovers.
-- I love you.
-- I love you more.
-- My love for you is off the scale.
-- You are my love, you are my obsession.
-- I love you more then I love...ice cream.
-- You love ice cream.
-- I do.
-- I love you as if my life depended upon it.
-- I love you like the bee loves pollen.
-- I love you as if love was all there is.
-- I love you more.
-- Aw, that's sweet.
August 5, 2025
A young couple were getting married in a city park. With no chairs, invited guests and strangers stopping to watch, mingled, and started to talk.
-- A wedding! This is so cool.
-- Why are they doing it in a city park?
-- It's free. They don't have to rent a hall.
-- What about the reception?
-- The reception is here, at the park, they're having a picnic.
-- How did they know the weather would be good. I'd be worried to death about rain.
-- They're much too young to be getting married. She's just a baby.
-- I like how they're dressed casually. It suits where we are.
-- Are they from here? Does this park have some kind of special significance for them?
-- No, it was just free.
-- Do you need a permit to use a public space like this?
-- Be a pretty heartless cop to arrest them now, dontcha think?
-- Why aren't they getting married in a church?
-- (3 people simultaneously) Because the park is free.
-- I'd hate to be young and just starting out now. The world is a scary place.
-- Do either of them have a job? How will they be able to afford anything? I'm 35 and am still broke.
-- He works construction.
-- I hope she's not pregnant and they have to do this.
-- She's not.
-- You seem to know them pretty good.
-- Brianna, the bride, is a friend of my daughter's.
-- How old is she?
-- She's 16. Luke is 18.
-- Is that legal?
-- Brianna has her parents' consent. They think Luke is a wonderful boy.
-- Would you let your daughter marry at 16?
-- Probably not.
-- I would, just to get her out of the house. Mine's a terror at 16.
-- Well, it's a gorgeous day and this is a perfectly lovely place to create a bond to share for the rest of their lives. I'm glad I stopped my jog for this.
-- Me too. I was just out walking my dog, Pepe, and saw what was going on.
-- Could we go to the reception even if we weren't invited?
-- Why would you do that?
-- I don't know. A picnic sounded like fun.
-- Fun?! Getting married in a public park with strangers ogling the proceedings and then having a cheap ass picnic for a reception is not for fun, it's to save money. Wake up, lady.
-- All right, all right. No need to be so hostile.
-- No need to be so self-centered.
-- Oh look, she's pronouncing them husband and wife! They're married!
-- Ok, it's all over. Come on, Pepe.
August 6, 2025
I was on the phone with a producer in Dublin. Our conversation went something like this.
-- You come recommended to me by ________. Sos I thought I'd give ya a call.
-- Yeah, I have worked with _________ and I have found him to be a pleasant if not outrageous human being. Big personality. Easy to like. Kinda nuts.
-- He told me a few things about you too, whew boy, I said to him, Ryan sounds like trouble. But our mutual friend says, yeah, but the best kind of trouble, you know. Sos I checked out your credits, your website and I liked what I saw so I thought I'd give ya a call.
-- What's the project?
-- Have you ever been to Dublin? On a boat on the Liffey. On your way out to the Irish Sea. At midnight on a moonlit night. In December. With 3 dead bodies aboard?
-- No.
-- Well that's where we start. I want it to be a black comedy. Rich in subtle humour. No slapstick or baudy bullshit. Good, clever, smart dialogue wrapped inside a caper flick.
-- Sounds like a Guy Ritchie movie.
-- Ha! It ain't gonna be that. Me and Guy don't get along.
-- Why's that?
-- I'm not telling tales, but if you ever see him, ask him about the night at the Maiden Made Merry pub on the North side. He can tell ya.
-- Is the whole thing to be shot in Dublin?
-- I dunno. You tell me. You're the writer.
We discussed some more details including the contract and its fees, the schedule, who else is involved, who's financing it, who would be distributing it and we ended the call this way:
-- That's a lot of damn questions for a writer. So are you interested?
-- I am.
-- Do you want to write it in Ireland or Canada?
-- I will do the treatment, first draft and a polish from here in British Columbia. By the way, are you a signatory to the Writers Guild of Ireland?
-- Me and them don't get along.
-- It's our sister union. As a producer, you must be a signatory to use union writers.
-- Yeah, so?
-- So you're talking about a non union production?
-- I guess I am.
-- Well, I'm a member of the Writers Guild of Canada. I'm a union writer. I cannot work on a non union movie.
-- I thought that only meant movies made in Canada.
-- No, it's anywhere.
-- Well don't that beat all. A writer turning down a job on principle. Shite.
Click.
August 7, 2025
Without a girlfriend or anything of substance going on in his life, Todd fell in love with his new phone. He named her Velma. She had all the bells and whistles and he loved to show her off. Todd and Velma went everywhere together. Their bond was so great, their relationship so personal, that until that fateful night when Todd got car jacked outside the Mammoth Drive-In on Hwy. 43, they were inseparable. It happened so fast. Todd was yanked from the car. Velma was left on the centre console still playing Taylor Swift. As the hijacker and Velma sped away to Back To December, Todd was never the same again. Would she miss him? Would she even remember him? Todd broke down, became a blubbering wreck, a complete mess.
Moral of the story? Boundaries, they're for everybody.
August 8, 2025
Went to bed at 10PM. Phone rang at 2AM. Had to get up, get dressed and go pick someone up. Got back by 3:30AM. Went to bed again. Got up at 5AM. Worked for several hours. It's now 8AM and I feel like I've already had a full day and Friday hasn't even really started. What about my beauty sleep? My beauty depends on it! Does too. I've decided that I'm going back to bed. Later, my pretties.
August 9, 2025
Overheard 3 women at a funeral.
-- He was such a sweet man.
-- He was loved by everybody.
-- Not everybody.
-- What do you mean by that?
-- Yeah, who didn't love ol' Bob?
-- His daughter for one. Some of her friends for another.
-- What are you saying?
-- There's lots of talk about his daughter saying Bob abused her and some of her friends.
-- That's outrageous.
-- She's just trying to make this about her.
-- That's petty, Louise.
-- She says that ol' Bob was a mean drunk and a lecherous pervert.
-- Then why do we all think he was so great?
-- Evidently there were two Bobs. One outside the home and a different one inside.
-- I don't believe any of this.
-- Take a look ladies. Do you see her here? At her own father's funeral?
-- Oh my god, she isn't here!
-- Men are scum.
-- Bob was scum.
-- I'm done with this. I'm not going to sit here and glorify a dead pedophile.
-- Cherise, if you get up now everyone will wonder why you're leaving.
-- Maybe I'll tell them. Maybe I'll tell all of them.
-- Sit down, you're being dramatic.
-- How can you listen to this crap about pious Bob when he was fucking his own daughter? Get real. He was a monster.
-- She's right. We should all leave.
-- I worked with that guy for 15 years and never suspected.
-- Nobody ever does.
-- Let's go.
-- I'm with you.
-- Me too.
-- Let's go.
August 10, 2025
Melissa and Howard after a bad night together.
-- That was some argument last night, eh Melissa?
-- I didn't sleep a wink thinking about all the horrible stuff you said to me. Did you mean everything you said?
-- I was mad. I don't remember what was what.
-- I sure do. It was enough to keep me up all night and contemplate whether I still want to be with you.
-- What started the argument?
-- I'm not going to rehash things, Howie. Let's just move on.
-- Isn't that typical of you, Melissa. Let's bury it under the carpet and never speak of it again.
-- What's your problem?
-- You! You always bury your head in the sand. We never hash things out.
-- I don't like confrontation.
-- So letting stuff fester is better?
-- Jesus, Howard, get off my back.
-- You're exasperating, Melissa. We should talk about last night.
-- No Howard, we should not.
-- You must be really mad. You're calling me Howard instead of Howie.
-- I call you a lot of names including asshole, douchebag and prick. So what?
-- Why are we always fighting?
-- I don't think we're compatible.
-- That's it? That's your assessment of our relationship? Incompatibility?
-- More argument from you. Of course.
-- Now I remember what we were fighting about last night. It was your cold rationale versus my red hot passion.
-- A perfect illustration of our incompatibility.
-- So that's it? It's over? Just like that?
-- Yes, we're truly done this time, Howard.
-- You're just tired from no sleep.
-- If I'm tired from anything, it's you. I have truly had enough. So why don't you be a good little Howie and get out of my life. See, I'm not mad. But you and I, we've had our last argument.
-- Melissa, I-
-- Don't say anything. Just get your things and go. This is how I want to remember you - gone.
August 11, 2025
OMG, this is the closest we've ever been to solving the age old riddle: Why did the chicken cross the road?!
I mean, look at him! He's contemplating it! He's so close! The road is inches away! Are we about to finally find out why?!
Oh chicken, why, why!? I better shut up, I don't want to scare him off and then we go on never knowing why.
Everyone hold your breath. We're so close!
August 12, 2025
A dysfunctional family and their real life.
-- Well I did it.
-- What did you do, Earl?
-- Yeah Daddy, what did you mess up this time? Loser.
-- You're right, Desmond. Daddy is a loser. What did you do, Earl?
-- I'm gonna make us rich.
-- Oh god...
-- Ok, so you know how I like to stay up late and watch TV.
-- I know you never come to bed any more. Frankly I'm 'bout to climb the walls in frustration if you know what I mean and I think you do.
-- I know what you mean. Daddy is a loser.
-- Your father is useless in the bedroom. Let's make that clear.
-- Anyway, I was up late and I watched this show about how to make money in crypto-
-- Oh, tell me you didn't.
-- So I invested all our money in crypto. The guy on the infomercial-
-- Infomercial! It was a infomercial? Daddy is really dumb.
-- You invested our money in some Internet scam?
-- We're gonna be rich. This guy says so.
-- What guy? Who is this guy?
-- You know, the fat slob with the phony hair. Cheats at golf. Wears a stupid baseball hat with a business suit. I'll never get that one. What do you call him?
-- The President? Mommy, Daddy is way dumber than we thought!
-- He says we're gonna be rich, just like him. His house is huge. It's all white.
-- He's a psychopathic liar-
-- A convicted felon-
-- A rapist-
-- Yeah, that's the guy. Said he knew all about crypto. Anyway all our money is now in that.
-- Daddy is such a loser.
-- Listen, Desmond, I'm getting tired of you calling me a loser all the time.
-- Well then stop being a loser. Crypto, what a moron.
-- Earl, can I go to the grocery and buy food with crypto?
-- Probably not.
-- Do any of our local stores accept crypto?
-- I doubt it.
-- Then it's useless.
-- Daddy is dumb and useless.
-- You got that right, Des.
-- (Sigh)
August 14, 2025
LETTER OF THE MONTH
Dear Keith,
It is so hard to read your site on my phone! Your fonts are too small and nothing is placed correctly on the page. Optimize your site for the phone! Why are you being so mean?
Signed,
Frustrated Reader
Dear Frustrated,
It goes back to my simmering feud with Alexander Graham Bell. I attended a party for his rival Marconi, Bell found out about it and flew into a rage. He's screaming at me over the phone, says he going to sue me, starts ranting about what a scumbag Marconi is and how he stole Bell's thunder and then in a huff the bastard hangs up on me! The nerve! So yes, that might have everything to do with my smartphone optimization recalcitrance. Petty? Sure, but the fact that the inventor of the telephone exhibited the most rude phone manners from the get go was, for me, a bridge too far. I'm supposed to excuse that? My lawyer has prevented me from saying more.
August 15, 2025
A husband at the hot tub store.
-- How much is this one?
-- That baby's five grand.
-- How many does it hold?
-- Comfortably? Two. But if you want to get cozy, you can get 6 adults in there. Everybody's just real close together. If they're nude, well, heh heh, you can imagine.
-- I'll take it.
-- You'll have to fight them off with a stick.
-- Who?
-- The chicks, man, the chicks. They all dig hot tubs.
-- It's just for me and my wife.
-- Sure, I get ya. Wink wink nod nod.
Later, the husband with his wife.
-- Come on outside I want to show you something.
-- Lester, I don't have any clothes on.
-- You don't need clothes.
-- You want me to go outside naked?
-- Yep. See, I'm getting undressed too.
-- What are you doing? We're not having sex outside, Lester, I can tell you that.
-- No, it's not that. I have a surprise.
-- A naked surprise?
-- Yes, follow me.
-- Outside? Naked? Once again, are you nuts?
-- Close your eyes, Esmeralda.
-- Close my eyes! Then I won't know which neighbour is looking at me! What is this, Lester, some kind of pervert thing.
-- Ok, get your robe on. Now look! Look Es, at what I got you!
-- Oh my, is that a hot tub?
-- It is! It's all warm and bubbly and just waiting for you!
-- But all the neighbours can see us.
-- Let 'em look.
-- No.
-- No?
-- No. No. No. No. No.
Later, the husband back at the hot tub store.
-- I want to return the hot tub.
-- Return it? Is something defective?
-- No. My wife won't use it.
-- Oh, I see. Well I'm sorry but unless there is a warranty issue we don't accept used hot tubs.
-- I was never in it.
-- That makes this all the sadder.
-- There's nothing you can do?
-- I could probably find someone to take it off your hands, but they wouldn't want to pay any more than half price, maybe less.
-- But it's brand new!
-- They could probably pull it out today. You want me to call them?
Later, the husband is back with the wife.
-- Lester?
-- Yeah?
-- I've been thinking.
-- Uh huh.
-- Maybe I was too hasty with the hot tub. It could be fun.
-- What about the neighbours?
-- Well I figured that in the daytime we could just wear swim suits. At night, if we don't turn on the patio lights, we could maybe go naked.
-- It's night time now.
-- I know. I'm game. Let's get naked and jump in the tub.
-- They removed it already.
-- Well get it back.
-- I sold it to them.
-- Oh Lester, I'm sorry.
-- We could still get naked.
-- Oh Lester, no.
August 16, 2025
UNKNOWN QUOTES FROM UNKNOWN PEOPLE
"If I wasn't so damned health conscious I would snarf this whole box of Pop Tarts. Someone weaker would. Definitely, someone weaker would. Even I would, but I won't. Does that make sense?" Billy Zimnuss
"Yellow is my colour and quit calling me 'Coldplay Carter'." Alice 'Lemon' Carter
"There are three kinds of people in this world and I hate every one of them." Barry Boston
"If you tell me what to do you better be ready to watch me do it." Simone Robinson
"He was a genius but he died too young. What if he wasn't a genius? Would it still be tragic? As tragic? Less tragic? Splitting hairs?" Peter Ivanovich
"I tried to get Marla to run away with me, but she wouldn't. So we walked." Dougie Pinekelly
"I lost my job and there I was at a fork in the road. I had to chose one way or the other. My Uncle said it was foretold in family lore. I have no idea what he's talking about." Herbert Frost, poet Robert's third cousin by his second marriage
"So he buys me this tacky lingerie and tells me to try it on. Is this not my life's story? For once I say no. He goes nuts and throws a lithium battery at the wall, it explodes and burns down the house. What survives? Not him, but the goddamn lingerie. Is this not my life's story?" June 'Bambi' Hunter
"My 120 pound rescue dog sleeps with me every night. I love spooning with him. He makes me feel safe. He's like a big, warm, non speaking male who has no interest in sex. Perfect." Tika Bowman
"Then I said to him, Why not me? And he looked like it had never occurred to him. So I repeatedly stabbed him with my Bic until all he could think about was me. I'll probably get that promotion." Sally Hunnacker
"One for the money, two for the show - what? What do you mean it's been done before?" Conrad Lassiter
"I heard she had an affair with a French guy. Can you imagine? Eating croissants in bed and making love at 3 in the morning? Disgusting." Maria Huckabee
"My sister dated this loser. His nickname was 'Lice'. Gross, eh? He made my skin crawl and I would involuntarily scratch my arms red whenever I heard his name or he was around. Then they get married! Now I have a dumbass brother-in-law named Lice and my arms need skin grafts." Annie Demarco
"What's the worst thing my mother ever said to me? I told her I was going to follow 50 Cent's lead and I was going to get rich or die trying and my Ma says, Can't you do both?" Terrell 'Babyboy' Tremain
August 18, 2025
I have been cutting my own hair since college. Before that, I dated a barber's daughter. He had a 3 chair shop of his own and one day he offered to give me the shop specialty haircut. By the time he swiveled the chair around to the mirror, what I felt had been happening on my head was verified. Worse butcher job ever. I wanted to be tactful but I was shocked. I blurted out how awful it was, wrote down his license number and reported him to the barber police and then went in search of another shop that could fix it. After barber daddy told my girlfriend of my reaction to his creative arts, and she found out I had shaved it off, she couldn't help but support her creatively challenged father, effectively ending our relationship. Any wonder I have been cutting my own hair ever since?
August 19, 2025
They were new film school students and they went around the room telling a little bit about themselves.
Kelly
"My ultimate goal is to make a film exposing the frailty and folly of humanity. Basically, I think that mankind sucks. I want to show that. They need to see it. "
Penny
"I am here because my boyfriend is a pretentious prick and will only go to art house films - not movies, films. I want to make a slapstick comedy in the broadest sense and make him watch it to get even for all the bullshit art films I had to sit through."
Robert
"This is a way for me to satisfy my parents. They like movies. I figure if I'm in the movie biz, maybe they'll like me more. Is that pathetic?"
Sugar
"Community College was silly and I couldn't afford no University, so here I am, at the most affordable thing between the two. This better make me rich."
Black Dagger
"Yeah, that's my real name. I'm here to learn how to make good porn films. Everything is trash out there. I want to do it better. By the way, any of the ladies in this room interested in working with Black Dagger, talk to me after class."
Charlotte
"I want to be the female Tarantino. Blood, gore and pussy. That's what I'm about."
Petr
"I'm from Poland. I want to make Polish movies about the foods of Poland, specifically the things I like - pierogi, golabki, paczki and sausage.
Lucy
"I was a sheriff and now I'm a stay at home mom. I miss the excitement. I got the twins now so can't be serving summonses and getting shot at no more. I figured maybe I can get the same thrill if I make movies about it instead. The truth? Anything to get me out of the house. Don't never have twins. "
And finally, Robin
"I want to go into film research. I'm fascinated by archival questions like, Was Buster Keaton a cannibal? Did Fatty Arbuckle really rape that girl? That sort of thing."
August 21, 2025
Man on the street with a microphone.
-- Excuse me. What do you think about lifetime political appointments versus term limits?
-- What?
-- Are you in favor of term limits for political appointees or are you in favor of lifetime appointments.
-- What?
-- Thank you.
-- Excuse me. What do you think about lifetime political appointments versus term limits?
-- Term limits should always be required because politicians are liars and scumbags who will always try to rig the game in their favor. Now we have to live with Brett Kavanaugh for the rest of our lives. That's bullshit.
-- Thank you.
-- Excuse me. What do you think about lifetime political appointments versus term limits?
-- As far as lifetime appointments are concerned, I have nothing to say in support of this. Political appointees getting jobs for life is indefensible. For instance, now we have to live with Brett Kavanaugh for the rest of our lives. That's bullshit."
-- Thank you.
-- Excuse me. What do you think about lifetime political appointments versus term limits?
-- Term limits all the way. The rest is partisan politics. They get a job for life! FOR LIFE!
-- What if they are not political appointees but in essence still get a job for life. For instance, tenured teachers. Is that acceptable?
-- An individual teacher holds sway over a classroom. A Supreme Court judge holds sway over a nation.
-- I think I know where you're going with this.
-- Now we have to live with Brett Kavanaugh for the rest of our lives. That's bullshit.
-- Thank you. And there you have it from the man on the street.
August 22, 2025
He had surgery and his recovery was advanced beyond all metrics. What should have been a 16 week healing process took him less than a week. The doctors couldn't believe it. His church declared it a miracle. His wife wondered if her husband was an alien. So did the government. Agents came to his house and questioned him. Did he come from another planet? Was he using a super drug? Had he colluded with a foreign government or enemy planet for this drug? How could he have healed so quickly? What was his secret! He had no clue how it happened and told them this. Liar! declared the government agents. Having no empathy for the truth, they shipped him off to El Salvador where he underwent weeks of abuse and torture. He was finally too broken to get any useful information from so they sent him back home where he needed more surgery. Only this time he preferred to die on the operating table rather than go through it all again should he heal unexpectedly fast. The church called him a saint. His wife called him selfish and suspected more than ever that she had been married to an alien. The government agreed and dissected his body at Wright Patterson Air Force base where all the other aliens are kept. Finding nothing unusual, the government moved on to torture and abuse other suspicious people.
Moral of the story? Don't be different.
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the men come and take you away.
Stephen Stills
August 23, 2025
A tractor trailer pulled half way down our driveway before the driver realized that he couldn't go further due to a tight curve. He stopped his truck and walked ahead to look at the curve and all the way to our barn where he realized there was no room to turn a semi around. He was going to have to back out of a tight and winding driveway onto a narrow one lane road. We have fruit trees, firs and cedar trees lining our driveway. If he goes off the asphalt, he will hit these trees with his trailer. He was going to have to be very precise and very good to back up over a 100 curving yards and out onto the road. It took him 25 minutes to do it, but he managed to get back out without doing any damage to anything. The kicker? He was at the wrong address in the first place. It was the very definition of, Tell me you're having a bad day without telling me you're having a bad day.
August 24, 2025
He was an actuary and a specialist in risk assessment. He lived in Duluth, Minnesota when his company reassigned him to the Las Vegas office. His wife wasn't thrilled to be moving, especially to sin city, but they did anyway. Within a year he had gambled away their life savings. Never knowing he had an addiction until he was surrounded by his addiction, this risk assessment specialist missed all the red flags. When their retirement money was toast and he had tapped out friends, relatives and loan sharks, he started stealing from the company. He welshed on bets, lied to everyone and never told his wife the money was gone. Soon after, he was found dead at home. No one knew if it was his wife finding out about his gambling debts and the squandering of their savings, players and bookies he welshed bets on, casinos he owed money to or his own company hiring Vegas thugs to do him in after they discovered the embezzlement. With all of that chaos and bad faith behind him, the dead actuary floats up to Heaven assuming he is going to be sent to Hell. And he is. The end.
Moral of the story? Stay in Duluth! Temptation does not exist in Duluth. Know your place.
August 25, 2025
Overheard a couple at the Farmers Market.
-- Larry, will you leave the shopping to me.
-- You're such a control freak.
-- I don't want rhubarb. Take it out of the basket.
-- I already paid for it.
-- Then you eat it yourself.
-- That's harsh, Cynthia. What have you got against rhubarb?
-- My aunt Mimi choked to death on a stalk. Back in '88. There, you happy? You made me bring up sad memories.
-- Shit, that was a hundred years ago. Stuff's better now.
-- Rhubarb is rhubarb, Larry. What are you going to do with it?
-- I'm gonna make a pie.
-- Not in my kitchen, you aren't.
-- Then you make me a rhubarb pie.
-- I will not. That would be like me choking Mimi all over again.
-- Come on, Cyn, look at it. That's a sexy vegetable.
-- It's a deadly vegetable, Larry. A killer to be precise. And I don't want it in my basket infecting all the other produce. Take it out.
-- Ok, but don't be asking me for a piece.
-- A piece of what?
-- My rhubarb pie! Silly Cynthia.
-- Doofus Larry, no need to worry about that. No need at all.
-- I think we should try for a baby tonight.
-- Ok. Now take it out.
-- Here? In the farmers market?
-- The rhubarb, Larry.
-- Oh, for a second I thought-
-- We all know what you thought, Larry. Simple Larry.
August 26, 2025
Been having network problems. Computers malfunctioning, network doing all kinds of crazy stuff. I am pretty sure the system is possessed. I have yelled at it several times saying pertinent stuff like, Unpossess my machines! Release my network Satan scum! No response. I should call the computer clergy. Does anybody have their number?
August 27, 2025
Man, in the old days I would have attacked this network issue with gusto and made sure I got to the bottom of things as fast as possible. Now? Meh. It's a lot of work, I have to learn a bunch of new stuff just to manage the network and why it's glitching and frankly, my enthusiasm for digital malfeasance has waned. So, I could easily screw something up and have the site be missing for a week or more, but if that happens, all I can say is, whoops.
August 31, 2025
Believe it or not, still working on our network configuration. Please bear with me as we move into September. Sorry for the delay. Is this what they call the modern life?
